Transformers: Robots in the Snow

So I had this dream. I was at a party with a bunch of people I didn't recognize. Their kitchen floor was only half-finished. It was partially covered with horribly ugly laminate flooring, showing their previous (also ugly) vinyl tiles throughout half of the room. How ridiculous, I thought. You can't even finish your renos before you throw a party? There was beer and cigarettes in all the food, and people kept offering it to me. I was like "no thanks." I eventually found some white cake in the fridge behind all the ruined food and I ate it. And it was awesome.

At one point I treated the events of the party like a TV series, feeling like I had missed the first season of whatever it was because I was missing little bits of information, like why this girl hated that guy and whatever. It was weird.

And then eventually everyone started to panic. There was a sense of impending doom spreading like wildfire. I was suddenly aware of the hatred that every other country in the world has for the United States, and we were attached to those states. So we had reason to be worried. I stepped outside into the snowy morning to hear jet planes overhead, and see some warheads flying our way. I ran back inside, because I was fucking terrified, but of course it didn't make any difference.

While running upstairs to get a better look at our impending annihilation, I saw a giant Transformer had appeared, close enough to our house to block my view from all the windows. What a jerk. He started to pound our house, and oh my god we had to get out of here! As we scampered around the robot's feet he was gingerly trying to walk because every time he took a step he slid. Because his feet were made of metal. HAH! Sucker.

It was suddenly dark outside as I ran around hiding behind trees and running into strangers' houses, because they were coming for me! After one particularly intense battle between my machine gun and the robot's lasers, a hatchback filled with trendy Japanese teenage girls slid in front of me and opened the hatch to reveal some totally awesome laser-shooting device that would totally wreck that robot. "Get in!" they yelled, and we skidded off into the cold, dangerous night.

And then I woke up.